One Question

i looked at the clock when i woke up
it read 10:52
i knew i should get out of bed
and find something productive to do

but, something just wouldn't allow it
it held me down, lying in bed
it wouldn't let me move a muscle
not even lift up my head

i was debating a really tough question
and i couldn't tell wrong from right
i just knew i had to find the answer
of whether to give up this fight

a nurse, she brought me some pills
in a little plastic cup
i dumped them all in my mouth
and with water i swallowed them up

those ones were just for the morning
anti-depressants to keep me sane
to try and help me keep smiling
not just in the sun, but the rain

the pills are supposed to help this decision
they're supposed to guide me to the right choice
but i'm still just utterly me
listening to that cold, dark voice

in the afternoon, it was a different nurse
with that same little plastic cup
once more i tossed in the pills
and used water to swallow them up

the afternoon brings anti-anxiety meds
and anti-psychotics too
they make me real sleepy so i doze off again
leaving the question till further ado

i wake up a few hours later
and i can almost get up this time
but before i step down, i hear the nurse
as up the stairs she does climb

this time she's got more of the same
got to make me real tired, right?
i swallow them down willingly
so this time i'll sleep through the night

that question though.. what was it?
i had to answer it today....
i needed to take some action
i cannot go on this way

but, i just don't have the energy
so i sit alone and sigh
one question, took my all today
whether to live or die