Because Of You

**this is dedicated to brian dell -- brian, if you're reading this- you know what you did**

Because of you
I can't seem to sleep
Because of you
I break down and weep

Because of you
I take pills to keep me sane
Because of you
All I know is pain

Because of you
I don't trust myself or anyone
Because of you
And what you've done

Because of what you did
I try to cut you out of me
Because of you
I watch my blood run free

Because of you
My smile is fake
Because of you
I want to drown in the lake

Because of you
I had to grow up too fast
Because of you
My childhood didn't last

First I couldn't remember
And now I can't forget
I said over and over
"Please, wait.. Not yet"

Because of you
I cut myself with a blade
Because of you
I'll always be afraid

"My heart can't possibly break, when it wasn't even whole to start with."