Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Rachael (6)

Rachael- "Hey, Katie, what are those marks?"
Me- "Oh, I was playing with a cat that scratched me...."
Rachael- "Again?!?"
Me- "yeah" (shit.. when did i use that one on her?) "well, no- it's the same one, they haven't gone away yet."

She's too young to know
She's just 6 today
What am I supposed to tell her?
What do you think I should say?

She wouldn't understand
I wouldn't know where to start
But if she knew that I'd done it myself??
Oh, God.. Bless her poor little heart..

She's very mature for her age
But still she cannot know
Adults live in a different world
And she's still got much further to grow

Before I'd consider telling the truth
Of my terrible, horrible past
I'd have to know she'd be ok
That she would accept it and move passed

See, Grown-ups don't live in the same world
That children often do
Their realities are shifted
And their perceptions of them too

Children are so innocent
So uncorrupted, and naive
Growing up shows us tragic realities
That shape who we'll turn out to be

The world around us starts to crumble
We see crime and pain galore
And as we turn one more year older
Our hearts drop and hit the floor

Our softness starts to harden
We begin to turn to stone
And we finally see the reality
That we're in this thing alone

Although she may be well intentioned
Mommy can't protect us forever
And no matter how badly he wants to
Daddy can't make everything better

We first experience heart break
And lots of other shit
And for the first time in our lives
Hugs and kisses don't fix it

Things start going wrong
And we try to hide
And suddenly start looking
For a solution- suicide


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