Brand New Day

i woke up this morning
to a brand new day
my life felt bright and colourful
instead of dull and gray

a quick look at my wardrobe
told me this just would not do
all my clothes were dark and black
i needed something new

so i headed to my sisters' rooms
to find something to wear
i borrowed a pink, 'girly' outfit
and then i did my hair

not too much make-up
- don't want to look too black
i pranced confidently out of the house
determined not to look back

i walked down the street with my head held high
excited about the new me
i couldn't wait to hear their reactions
when everyone got to see

they'll see that i'm all better
no more dreams of suicide
for all that's left is good
it's the evil that has died

i smile as i approach
ready to hear what they say
but their reactions are unexpected
they laugh and point my way

"look at what she's done!
what- now she thinks she's alive?
she can't change after this long
she's been dead for years inside!"

"you can change your clothes, princess
but it won't change what's underneath
you may be wearing pink today
but you're still black beneath"

"clothes, and hair, and makeup..
-it's all superficial shit.
we can still see the scars
from where your wrists were slit"

"you may think you have changed
but we all know the truth
you'll always be that troubled girl
that you've been since your youth"

"you'll never get any 'better'
never will you be well
we all know your secrets
you don't even have to tell"

so much for that bright new day
my blue skies have turned black
forget this stupid, ugly, pink shit
the dark is coming back