Friday, April 28, 2006

Not Alone

She sits on the train
Looking out the window
At the blue sky & the sun shining outside
She sits close to the window
Trying to let the sun in
Hoping it'll penetrate her shell
And warm up that cold, empty space inside her chest
Where her heart's supposed to be
But there's a storm raging in her soul
And all the sun in the world
Couldn't outshine her sorrows
So she moves away from the window
And closes her eyes
Hoping that for once, her dreams will take her to a happy place
Where she has friends
And it doesn't hurt to smile
Where she's never scared
And her body doesn't ache with it's hollow emptiness
But as usual, her head is filled with nightmares
Broken hearts & shattered souls
Torn people, longing to be whole again
Oddly enough- she's comforted with the feeling that she's not alone
That others are struggling just like her
And that there are more empty chests
Raging with terrible storms
More arms that are scarred and hidden from the rest of the world
More fears
More secrets
More heartache's
More pain
Just as she's starting to settle in to this strange, alternate world
She's jolted awake by a loud clap of thunder
She looks out the window
The sun is gone, and the blue skies have turned to gray
There's rain streaming down the glass beside her
And she moves over a little, the water pouring down the sides of the train reminds her of the tears pouring in her soul
A bolt of lightening flashes across the sky and she moves a little closer
The jagged streak in the sky almost identical to the scars on her arms
And, she finds that when she looks right at it, she can close her eyes and see the funny shape
Like the scars, that begin to fade, but when she closes her eyes, are all she can see
She moves right over, as close as she can get when she hears another clap of thunder
She's no longer alone
For at least these breif few moments, the world is storming like she is
And if she pays close attention to the storm outside
If she listens carefully for the thunder
And concentrates on counting until the lightening flashes
She finds, much to her amusement
That it can almost drown out the sounds of the storm in her soul
For the first time she can remember
In many, many years
She is comforted
And not completely alone


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