Friday, April 28, 2006

Here I Am

Baggy clothes and makeup
Hide my once flawless body
But one day
Some day soon
Those clothes will be replaced
I won't be able to hide anymore
My hair will be pulled back
Off my face
And you'll be forced to look into my eyes
Here I am
I'll say
The walking, waking dead
Forced to walk
Death has rejected me
Too many times
Here I am
Perfection once caressed my skin
But now my long sleeves and pants have been removed
And taken away from me
Leaving my arms and legs bare
Here I am
The flesh that was once a clean white canvas covering my body
Has been hacked at and burned away
With cigarettes and razor blades
Here I am
Rotted to the core
Perfections gone
And now it's showing
Here I am
If only it hadn't been so hot
Maybe my mask wouldn't have fallen to the ground
But there was too much sweat on my face
And now it's gone
It's cold now
And if I could find a glue stick
Maybe I could glue the mask back into place
But it wouldn't do any good
You've already seen past the mask
Only I was supposed to know what hid beyond it
But now you've seen the truth
Here I am
There you are
What would you say if I asked you what you see?
Not what you see when you look the other way
But what you see when you look at me?
What you see when you look into my eyes?
Is it the same thing I see when I look in the mirror?
A girl in a bubble
Trapped in a clear box
Set in the middle of a busy street
Watching the world go on around her
With no one even realizing she's gone
A girl waiting
Waiting for the thief who stole her soul
To return it
To leave it on her front door steps
A girl watching
Watching to see who took her life away so instantly
And left the crumbs to be so miserable
Waiting and watching to see who it is
Not realizing it was herself all along
It was all stolen so long ago
She knows she could never be mended
A needle and thread
Would do her no good
She hopes the mirror is lying
That it's telling a fib
But she recognizes the distortion
She's lived with it too long
She knows it to be her own
There she is
There I am
Lying to everyone but myself
I always knew my world would crash
But I never expected it to be so soon
I didn't think the fall would hurt so bad
That the ground would be so cold
That the harsh wind would give my body such goose bumps
That the water filling up my world
Would take away my breath so fast
I didn't think death would turn me away so many times
I always thought that by now
I'd be gone


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