coming back

it's been a long time
since i wanted it this bad
buti don't feel anything now
not even a little bit sad

i don't feel angry
i don't feel depressed
i should be happy it's gone
but this isn't my best

i don't feel joy either
the good feelings are all gone
no love or peace or hope
underneath they were there all along

and now i think there's one thing left
though it'll mean taking a fall
i think i'd rather feel the pain
than feel nothing at all

so self injury is coming back
i'll just hide it really well
and everyone will think i've gotten better
no one will ever tell

Where?

Where were you when I started falling?
Where were you when I hit the ground?
Where were you when it hurt so badly?
Where were you when you weren't around?
.
Where were you when the rain was falling?
Where were you when the thunder crashed?
Where were you when my world was storming?
Where were you when the lightning flashed?
.
Where were you when my tears were falling?
Where were you when they wouldn't stop?
Where were you when I screamed in silence?
Where were you when I wiped the drops?
.
Where were you when the blood was falling?
Where were you when I cut again?
Where were you when I burned myself daily?
Where?  Where were you then?
.
Will you be there when my body is falling?
Will you catch it before it hits the ground?
Will you softly lay me down below?
So my death won't make a sound?