St. Louis- #3

I'm so sick and tired

Of not being believed

They say coming here was my choice

But I feel I've been deceived

~

Here, when I speak,

It's all a lie

When I weep, I am told

"Just 'choose' not to cry"

~

I'm tired of everyone thinking

That I chose to be this way

No one wants to live like this

No matter what they say

~

I'm telling the truth

Why do they always question it?

All of this mistrust

Just makes me want to quit

~

I want to go home to my parents

At least they usually believe me

I won't be babysat

Or held under lock and key

~

Maybe I don't even need to go home

I really just want a way out

So I'll kill myself while I'm here

Death is one thing they can't doubt

~

For once you're dead, you're dead

No if's, and's, or but's

I'll finally be gone

My eyes forever shut

Getting Out of St. Louis

I miss my kids

I miss my home

Why must I be here?

So utterly alone....

~

I miss my Mom

I miss my Dad

How did I turn into this?

When did I get so bad?

~

I miss my school

I miss my job

I've broken down

I sob and sob

~

I miss real food

I miss my bed

Would anyone care

If I was found dead?

~

I miss my family

I miss my friends

But like all good things

It eventually ends

~

I miss my independence

I miss being in control

I want it all back

Getting out is my goal