St. Louis- #2

I can't live like this

It's not working out

Nobody believes things

I tell them about

~

What's the point?

They don't believe what I say

How can I trust them?

Why should I stay?

~

Trust goes both ways

You don't get it for free

So why should I trust them,

When they don't trust me?

~

At home, at least

I'm believed when I speak

No one disagrees with me

Or turns the other cheek

~

I don't want to be here

I don't want to try

I want to give up

I just want to die

Leaving St. Louis

I'd made up my mind

I was going to stay

But they've made theirs up too

I'll be going away

~

Much liquid was spilled

Tears of salt and tears of blood

Now my future's so unclear

It's dark and thick like mud

~

Soon I'll be going home

But I still don't know when

I've lost another chance

I've fucked it up again

~

I'm sorry Mom and Dad

I know that you don't want me back

So I'll try and make it quick

I'll be out of your way like 'that'

~

No point in paying for the plane

The money's just a waste

When he's already calling me

Death's close enough to taste

~

Please, don't bring me back

Please, don't even try

The return would just be pointless

I'd be coming home to die

St. Louis- #1

It's getting so hard

It's much worse at night

I don't know if I can make it

If I have the strength to fight

~

I swore when I left home

"There's no coming back"

But now that I'm here

That certainty, I lack

~

I'm worn out and broken

All I do is cry

It's so hard just to be here

Let alone to try

~

I want to sleep in my own bed

And eat whatever I choose

To be free in the afternoon

If I want to take a snooze

~

I'm 25 years old

And being treated like a child

I like making my own choices

And sometimes acting wild

~

I can't do this anymore

I'm drowning in my tears

I don't know where I need to be

But I know that it's not here

I Never Even Took Off....

When I was a child

I had so many dreams

But as I've gotten older

They've all died, it seems

.

I wanted to be an actress

But I was too shy for the stage

I wanted to be a mother

But I wasn't the right age

.

I wanted to fight fires

But they were more fun to light

I wanted to be a bride

In a beautiful dress of white

.

I wanted to be a doctor

But that took too much school

I wanted to be a police woman

Enforcing every rule

.

I wanted to be a teacher

Helping children read and write

I wanted to be an artist

But all I knew was black and white

.

I wanted to be a paramedic

So I could help others in need

I wanted to be an author

Writing stories for people to read

.

I wanted to be a bad girl

But I wasn't very tough

I wanted to be a princess

But I wasn't pretty enough

.

I wanted to be a therapist

But I couldn't even fix me

I wanted to be an athlete

But then I had brain surgery

.

I wanted to be a singer

But I couldn't make the sound

I wanted to be an astronaut

But I never left the ground

.

"I wanted to be an astronaut. To fly so high, so far from this whole, wide world. But I didn't have to worry about a crash landing, because I never even took off."

Jesus Will Heal

I've been cut, I've been burned

I've been broken, bent and torn

I have hoped, I have prayed

I have wished I wasn't born

I've been hurt, I've been cracked

I've been tripped, and told, and tried

I have screamed, I have yelled

I have wept and cursed and cried

I have fallen to the floor

And been too weak to rise

I have crawled on hands and knees

Tears falling from my eyes

But things can get better

They can't get much worse

I'm able to get well

If God will lift this curse

I'll be able to walk in freedom

No more cuts, or burns, or tears

No more clawing at my heart

No more giving in to fears

Jesus Christ has saved me

With His pure and perfect blood

So, somehow my world will heal

And my life will become good